site log

Masheng, my crowned Japanese Queen, lingers with me in sait white of snow.

posted Apr 2, 2010, 1:09 AM by Benz rad   [ updated Apr 2, 2010, 1:18 AM ]

proxy working strangely last afternoon. so launched to refine new blogger blogs and google sites. ema came over to send me living expense of ¥300 after work time. i then penniless. this morning arranged to finish many delayed task since the fatally dead China surveillance a month ago, adding group profile onto family posterous blogs. lagged heavily by slow traffic, but narrowly done. it drizzled in early night yesteray, when i left office later than 8pm. in the night it continued to snow and shallowly covered ground with white. now its spring, so it soon melt, just like a miracle. its now pale in sky. praying God pardon me lingering in office all work time in this week. i really have a full load of works. praying God guard my works against spying dog, the China surveillance. visit family new member sites:
http://emyark.be21zh.org
http://amyaak.be21zh.org
http://emxark.be21zh.org
http://zhuzz.be21zh.org
http://zhucj.warozhu.com
for full list of my family web assets, visit here: http://goo.gl/FPtx or  http://goo.gl/5ak7 or http://wiki.be21zh.org/zhlink


1/4/2010

a mild snow after second drizzle in lunar 2010.^yesterday i stayed in office over time. the sky later turns gloomy&yellow, likely sandstorm in air. i prayed God for his mightiness and bliss for i lingering in office all day, not retreated to dorm as usual. the facing evil absent all work day, while the monitor, a criminal, was arranged to accompany tourism from the company to Anhui Prov. in the wellfare policy of labor union. i enjoyed surfing non-stop so much, and the only pain is sometimes my ass. last night when i returned to dorm, a cat asking my feeding. it was hurt, a long wound on its back, very brutal. i bought 2 sausage for it, and fed it manually, but it didn't ate much. the owner of the cat in the dorm said he don't know who hurt the cat, but the cat likely fear the young man in th dorm. Masheng, last night i again reviewed our golden moment in Nankai Univ, thank u for the white&saint gift, the snow, pl join me sooner. God, saves the kitty, even u tells me i shouldn't raise pets, and cats don't align with my world in ur shine, in righteous and beautiful and fit. thx.

From first rain in lunar 2010
From first rain in lunar 2010

below is my web comments on last day in Mar, 2010.


30/3/2010

first spring rain in 2010.^last night i enjoy music, esp. Jolin Tsi's songs, after 11pm. the full moon still very bright. in the night i slept sound but woke up by rain drip on the roof. some time after 8am i got up to see the rain. its a small rain, but i guess very valueable for peasant. the cloudy sky still let me doubt, but i m assured its a blessing day.


28/3/2010

a week at watch.^this week i almost kept mute, abiding God's rule, and in favor of my girl zhou. it has been 2 days in sequence in brilliant sunshine, let me enjoyed flying with breeze so far. yesterday i visit baby as he lets, reinstalled his favorite game, "Cloudy.with.a.Chance.of.Meatballs", and some new games just got from web. when i arrived, he was writing his homework, and asked me to play the game on my own while he watched aside. he likely a bit reluctant to be attracted or immersed in the game. so cute&understandable child. he surely sensed the heavy load of competent among nowadays Chinese education. he is just can't be more smarter. after i finished games' setup, he started to play games. his mom, emakingir, cooked us remnant of their last meal, lamb chops, and its real lamb chops i almost first time ate, and really satisfied me. when i busy with backup dvds, fine tuned family sites' bookmarks against China surveillance, baby was brought by his mom haunted outside for sunburn. baby accepted my camera. baby's mom, emakingir, reluctant to shot photos, and indeed shot some photos in which baby's image all small. after they returned, i introduced new feature extension of google browser, chrome, to ema, and she gladly shown interest on domestic microblogs, even promised digging on them coming years. i then went to shower and haircut, both let me relaxed. bought baby sugar gourd&icecream. the grocer talked about deposit for their baby's higher education, which let me assured no one on the earth more glorious or richer than my baby son, warrenzh, owner of domain warozhu.com, Hope of China, God of Universe. when baby eating the gourd while watching animation online, i held him on my laptop and exchanged our view on Heaven, family duty, and our bandage. i at a rush to prepare leaving, but exact the moment with baby on my laptop, i felt the world so peaceful and boundless rich. on way to bus stop, God let me take taxi to return my dorm, and 2 taxies just porting on the bus stop which is empty. the taxi i picked equipped with a powerful audio system, which let me phrase it to the driver. in the restaurant i haunted several times recently for Chinese food, esp. rice, i was served a Japanese bean curd. the little restaurant changed owner, while the cook was remained. i promised to taste its new feature dish, fried ducks' heads, next time.

this morning i got up around 9am, went to office at once. China surveillance sniffing my surfing more closely, any sites i visited need twice refresh before it appears. google was blocked but sometimes working again. baby's desktop strangely can't play online movies, but soon resumed to work when i directing baby's mom how to diagnose the problem on the phone. after the only meal near 4pm, i haunted outside for last sunshine of the day, also brought some orange for birds in the dorms area. the early spring urges more leisure people outside for refreshment. the full moon these days appears earlier than usual, assured me more closer my task here to my destiny. after i settled in dorm and started to log expense, God let me know i can blog again to satisfy my beloved, as well as my job here on the earth. its really lovable moment these days in a week.

18/3/2010
bright day with rich dinner.^slept lately. dreamed but forgot content. baby visited me twice&urged me to got up. but i felt too sleepy to abide him. when i finally got up, i found the evil grandma playing chess with baby. her posture very sinful, toward baby. i at once created all games shortcuts on desktop as baby asked. when baby started to game on pc, i lingered awhile watching baby's gaming, then left. when i arrived office, its 9:30am. fine tuned my chrome's pinned tabs, manually coding till satisfied. sorted portable, dvd backup. retreated to dorm just after 1pm, continued to watch movie "hurt locker" till notebook run out of battery. dozed awhile till chatter from dorm administrators turned louder. reviewed my girl zhou, who talked with her cellphone yesterday when i walking to bus stop. at the moment i a bit hated her, for her indifferent to my appeals. but after all i know God granted a dewy girl, with who i at least have a twin, who is virtuous, and wise&attending with dignity. returned to office at 4pm. the sunshine was quite bright. read&download. later buzzed baby's mom, emakingir, to see if she had problem with her new attempt to build&maintain her QQ group with her colleagues&students. she said her busy with course ware&would like to discuss with me if she in the task. dined with Taiwan feature rice, and dumplings in the western style Chinese restaurant near my dorm. a man stood outside of the noodle restaurant when i passed it. returned to dorm, still felt the bliss from Masheng, Heaven. roamed about one hour, then blog, with new hope to meet my girl zhou. finished watching movie, hurt locker. check my posts online, then slept after 11pm.


17/3/2010
reunited with baby son in dragon head lunar holiday.^got up at 7:20am. in office read after posting tweets. sorted stuff from web. refined some family google profiles. some deep insight in articles from e-magazine, economist, invited my review. the parties' dispute, the history burden in Japan's government-dominating economics. buzzed baby's mom, emakingir's land phone, but the grandma there said her daughter just left. baby said brought to hospital in the morning. baby son reluctant talk to me when i buzzed again just wanting to listen him. returned to dorm just after 2pm, dozed for about half&an hour. brought clothing to laundry of QRRS dorms, the woman just leaving for today is lunar holiday to eat pig's head meat. that remind me visiting baby son this night, now that i just got a baby game, toy story mania, a Disney product, and a compensation for one baby policy abiding, ¥60, dispatched at 1pm in office. met the leaving grandma on way, they just dined with the traditional food. ema later cooked me rice&fried mouton sticks. i busy with install games, demonstrated ema computer skill, synchronized data among family 3 computers. after dinner we ate together, ema read novel online, while i tried new games with baby. after 10pm, i strongly suggested family watching movies "hurt locker" i got gain from web, but only baby &me watched about half an hour, then baby asked to sleep. we slept divided: baby&his mom slept in baby's room while i slept in bedroom alone. what a bright day!


From life as it extends
From life as it extends
From life as it extends





God lets me no private.

posted Feb 25, 2010, 12:13 AM by Benz rad   [ updated Feb 25, 2010, 12:29 AM ]

25/2/2010

God lets me no private.^read news via wap later than 11pm. some residential returned to dorm later than 10:30pm, &sang loud. likely they r different from quite some other residential who slept mostly before 10pm. dreamed a lot, woke up near 7:30am. visit office at once. Its a bright morning. most of time in office roaming in corridor to avoid tomb chill in offices on the floor. the fake gangster in neighbor office boast exciting on TV which live broadcast Olympic games. just when noon break started, the monitor appeared to cast dirt. i buzzed baby's mom as God lets, talked about my wish list of a blueteeth earphone. also talked with baby son. they ate fried beef for lunch, for the grandma there to cook. soon the only Hubei migrant in QRRS continued to trouble me, asking me to see his pc's problem, as he did quite some times. i arranged it when i on way to dorm after 12pm. left office earlier, visited the grey man's office but found the ground door locked. when waiting for his arrival, God assured me the Hubei guy turned sinful to abuse my reservation upon him for the folkship. a girl walked to dorm 1st turns me back to my own room, where i cracked seeds till the grey man buzzed in again. i lingered about a quarter in his office, till found its totally a sin pot or pitfall against me. the grey man don't have other problem except an infected os, but his real ailment was trying to attract&defame me. so did all the administration team of QRRS dorms. for example, before i visit the grey man's office, i shit in the toilet of the administration office. just after i settled in urgency, a man, i didn't notice, likely the evil director of the office, entered&urinated aside me in stance. shit knows what he intended&what he got. returned to dorm, dirt from the grey man&his colleagues still foaming around, let me decided to delete the folk from my contacts. the neighbor resident coughed when i cracked seeds, shown hidden evil, not a normal QRRS worker. roamed in dorm, found an old woman lingered quite some time on the ground within the dorms' area. its really a rotten corps' day.
left dorm at 3:01pm. facing dog bit as usual. i prepared daily tweet. Masheng, its all bliss from the time i stay alone. i know my 2 tallest girl among my wives, my Taiwan girl and Jiangyue, longing for me now. i promised u, my God, i never gauge with my present impression against them as u prepared them in the day so brilliant that i hardly recognize them, my girls in our wedding ceremony.

24/2/2010
4th snow&heaviest in lunar 2010.^first night in the new room, i slept sound, dreamed a lot. got up near 9am. in office posted latest photos with a blog entry. gmail abnormal, loaded incompletely many times. read awhile in the morning, soon its turns pale in sunshine. my earphone dropped&broke one ear. hopefully i will buy a blueteeth one, to enjoy wireless radio. returned to dorm just after 1pm, check posting on cellphone via captured page i prepared&transferred from pc to cell. roamed for more than an hour in door, reviewing my love. It turns bright sunshine outside, Masheng reminds me her calling for my calling in her name, in God of Sun. i also was recently reminded times our first baby son, Masheng, my second baby son, calling for birth on the planet. Masheng, i never talk to u indirectly, we never separate a single minutes apart. these days i in obliged of church, and pray in God a lot. but u r my God, my Sun, i never talk to u in thinking or wording. Masheng, join me sooner, as best time u can after settled other matters of our world, world of China , world of Japan, world of the world. i call ur name now, as the bright as ur sunshine&warmth now u grant on the earth as my requested yesterday. bring my Royal closer&more pleasure of staying together. bring me my 4th girls in southern China, namely Taiwan&Guangdong. bring my girl, Jiangyue, that growing confidence in hard fight, in God's shine. returned to office after 3:30pm. the facing evil desperately biting, till itself shameless&retreated. then the monitor, relay to cast its evil. he also stayed in office near 6pm. i read&post my acquaintance to my girl, Masheng, my Japan Princess, her call to hear my utter&murmur in her ears. we were separated since our met in Nankai Univ for so many years, back to 1999 when i prepared master degree entrance exam there while Masheng studied her first master degree year, shared me with a same desk, with some other master degree learners, and i broke heart for the hopeless love after a girl collegian, Fangfei. (i had settled it in my posts on my limited google group, faezrland at http://groups.google.com/group/faezrland ,and benzyrnill at http://groups.google.com/group/benzyrnill ) we never promised each other our love&fate to be closest together, even in retrospect i saw so many touching moments God forged between us in the campus, as well as in classroom we shared same. Masheng, U picked me, and stand up within me firm. Masheng, i owe u many!
after left office near 7pm, after sorted&backup portable, i dined in the pies restaurant. its a bit busy there, while my order was mean. so i was let waiting for some time, when i check my posts on my cellphone as i did yesterday there. biting also heavy there, till the facing table emptied&my dishes served. however, the old woman, likely the owner of the restaurant, shown cordial to me, served me extras, ie. pickles, for free&asked if i need more. i enjoyed the meal, pies&noodle, so far. on way to dorm, i visited the grocery&bought some food, in the shine of Masheng&favor of Sally, my Guangdong girl. enjoyed them in dorm. jogged outside after 7:30pm. met senior middle school students dispersing from their school. one girl stared at me&let me wonder. in dorm enjoyed food again, but evil from neighbor rooms biting&challenged me a lot. after quit eating, i picked some ebooks on my notebook newly got from web, with whose profound thoughts immediately dirt around was drove off. i again amazed by the plenty&depth found in independent research/thoughts in western academy. never China nowadays can steal nor access with its guilty being. that's why&my job to prize the world of western, their feast enriches&improves the planet so much!

23/2/2010
3rd snow in lunar 2010.^last night left office till 7pm, after tried to video chat with baby&his mom. their video stream strangely don't appear in my browser while they saw my stream&their own working. remote desk also lagging to appear, all reminded me of cops' breaking&showily espionage. dined in a special meal restaurant nearby my office, babbled about their management feature. a young girl and her boyfriend there before my visit, let me rightly smell the wonder of youth. in dorm, surfed via wap on cellphone lately after 10:30pm. China surveillance again blocked some mobile sites with which i can access my blog, which mostly deadly blocked in China, like wordpress, blogspot, posterous, tumblr, etc. this morning got up at 7:03am, washed socks, then head to office. shot some photos on way for the saint moment of snowing. Its likely the 3rd snow in lunar 2010 new year. God, i know u r killing dirt around me, i feel ur bliss on me. thanks for ur gift i felt so bright&holy. God, bring my girl zhou closer to me after all killings from u over dirt. bring me happy of warmth of sunshine after the cleanse. in office posting snow photos with a blog entry most of the morning. at noon buzzed baby's mom, exchanged view on inflation of living cost, ie. fast food, the down dorms' canteen. later cared download, all time in heavy biting. left office after 2pm. the dorm porter informed me to change to a room on 3rd floor. moved my stuff soon, then dozed awhile in the new lodge. left dorm on 3:33pm&joined office. the 2 evils in office stayed near 6pm. i dealt routine stuff, left near 7pm. in the restaurant, a family dined there with all seniors&kids. a likely couple of the family arrived later, the female's tall&fit attracted me. in dorm read my posts i prepared via proxy&copied onto my cellphone wireless, now that China mobile network had blocked direct access. cracked seeds then soon slept. changing my room likely again a plot of dog: even the toal used rooms in dorm 3 no more than 7 or 9, but all my 3 neighbor rooms occupied. and the wall again like my first room in dorm 1st back to 2006 when i left my baby's mom's house first time to pursue my new marriage, extreme thin! likely just some paper frame separate 2 rooms. in the night when i buzzed my baby son, i can sense echo passed through the thin wall and the listening ears all around. God, i don't fear hunting of cheap souls nor desperate gay, but i do fed up with the wild dogs&dirty thefts. ur glory forever untouchable, God, i singing in ur name, singing for new level of endurance in ur Bliss!

From our lunar new year of 2010

From our lunar new year of 2010

From our lunar new year of 2010



for google album blocked within China mainland, here some copies hosted domestically:

heavy wagon cleaning snow on main road of QRRS.

fury snowflake in night lamps.

my new room in QRRS dorm 3rd, likely dog's new plot.

joice&pains, all our happy lunar new year of 2010

posted Feb 18, 2010, 5:28 PM by Benz rad   [ updated Feb 18, 2010, 5:35 PM ]

its again a bright morning. i visit office directly after got up. God seemingly put too much turns around me upon my request of my 3rd wife, my girl zhou. but this morning on way to office, i again saw a tall girl in red short coat, long white boot, walked ahead me with a female companion. the day before yesterday i busy in office till 5pm, waiting call back from my hometown and my baby's mom, for we arranged to video chat online. but they all don't buzzed when i stayed online in office. near 5pm, i buzzed baby's mom's home, they just returned from baby's grandma's home. i visit them at once. in ema's house, i installed games for baby, and played together awhile with baby. ema said games i installed last time brought baby quite some good time on it. i also synchronized data among 3 computers. when all ready, i called hometown folks again, and we met online. but my kid brother wasted lots of time to configure his netbook to work. my mother first time in last year seeing my baby live online. when i prepared to leave around 8pm, baby son suggested me live a night there, so i stayed&watched movie online with him. ema cooked me a dinner& a breakfast, she also brought me some food. after i returned dorm near 11am, i dozed for more than an hour. then visited office, trying to meet my kid brother, as God lets. but in fact all the afternoon prepared a clean os&backup. dined in a restaurant on way to dorm. in dorm enjoyed food from ema, and continued backup os to portable.

its a brilliant day today, no doubt it will be so. my claim of my girl zhou never changes, for its God's setting. i hope the light of colorful sheds me sooner in the coming lunar Lantern Day.

From our lunar new year of 2010

From our lunar new year of 2010

From our lunar new year of 2010

From our lunar new year of 2010

baby son, warrenzh, 朱楚甲, talking.

PicasaWeb Slideshow



for google album blocked within China mainland, here some copies hosted domestically:

leaving KFC Fu-Mart franchise.


benzrad, 朱子卓, me, in baby's focus.


New year on new horizon.bleeding with hope and missing.

posted Jan 9, 2010, 9:15 PM by Benz rad

So many hopes of family and new family upon the new year of 2010. i will see my new marriage in the beginning of 2010, while baby son got his first International domain, warozhu.com, which now running with a simple but informative homepage based on my domain, be21zh.org. its all bright days, or white days in snowing, recently. i talk with my second wife, my Sun, from Janpanese Royal, in every pulse of coherent, while my forging blood bound with my girl zhou, for whom i searched on the web so long, and our new family turning clearer and sounding. new year of 2010, belongs to the Holy, belongs to the Royal of China in my title.

today again a new bright day, with so many hopes and missings loaded me bleeding. i look into the sunshine, sea's bubble wade and wax in my heart. i see my girl in praying for me, including my first wife, girl Lü, and the Taiwan girl, who will has my 3rd son, and girl Jiangyue. life with so many promises, from the Heaven, form God the Holy. life in moulding the new China and east Asia.
all of all, girls, come, come and join me, with the morning sunshine on her hairtop, with Heaven dews on ur lid, come, and come into new horizon under our steps. the world never more promising than we see it, than we say it. 


below is my daily tweets in this transitinal life:

9/1/2010

full of joy&hope.^last night busy in office sorting family sites in sidebar against China surveillance frequent blocking my logos on different hosts. slept lately after 10pm, for memory of such a great day. dreamed a school girl succeeded in college entrance exam with her firends. dreamed managed a restaurant in US&in China. dreamed of coming love even under cops' espionage. got up after 8am, and its a blazing bright morning again, with so many lucky fortunes ahead. roamed outside in the aim to meet my girl zhou. sms baby's mom who in last night's chat in low not to swing with rumors of me from dogs'. lunched outside with meat&pies. roamed again in bright sunshine, met a girl in her 16 years old or so with brilliant figure. missing my girl zhou very much. sorted family forum hosted on GAE in dorm, correcting titles&links, also in songs of Daolang, a western Chinese singer. some road cleaners, likely employed from suburb residents, made noise just under my window, while i recharged my cellphone. roamed outside after it finished, picked office to check manual to modify cell's lock key. really missing my girl zhou.

8/1/2010

my girl bullied me last night, but its a new gifting day today.^last night lingered in office surfing till 7pm, to avoid the bully my girl zhou exerts on me. the night on bed restlessly, sexual desire turns strong in dawn, woke up first time before 7am. waited in dorm till 8am. refined sites' images in office. dog in office turned agile&foamed of babbles, likely espionaged last night my girl zhou refusing me by picked a man's bike&left before i trying but unable to reach her. the another dog, the monitor, tentatively moved the empty chair to his close territory, trying to ban my using his corporate lan wire. but after all, its a bright morning&God's brilliant gift for me just to unveil. sorted recent photos&prepared upload. greeting my girl zhou in her colleagues' companion. she is just too bright in her white short coat, strides with her long legs. greet her again when she return to QRRS, too perfect to own her as God Holy shines me. felt constrained upon myself yearning for her, for i love her so much&need her in my arms so cravingly and so meanslessly, but after all again, my new marriage with her will commences soon in the beginning of 2010.

7/1/2010

a blessing day, with magpies croak over me.^finally baby's site, warozhu.com, running, and my site, be21zh.org, updated, with the help from Taiwan friend. also got the forum of the 2 domains working&refined, after so many errs in source code&blocking from China surveillance. its really a hopeful day, but missing my girl zhou in rush time of work over. i worked lately but managed in position in time to wait for my girl, a girl with the same coat&height mistakened me&likely my girl behind her passed when i retreat to roaming. bought a new basin, for the old one broken last night. fine tuned my cellphone. snowing night makes it a time to pray for saint love. God, kill dirts&evil rumors&loads of pressure around/on my girl zhou, let my love with my girl zhou grows&melting into peaceful&colorful&lasting full joys of family, let my girl in my arms&pulse together. 
help baby's granny fetching coupon from QRRS just after got up, for she lost the coupon first time trying to fetch. on the way some magpies croak over me. bought myself tea, a long time wanting, and taste it at once in office. the world all brightly white in last night's snow. read awhile in office. dogs there espionaged closely. the monitor long time in the morning absent, but just after i connected to web with his wire, he appeared&complained about unabled to connect at once as usual, likely informed by the gay on facing desk, trying to find a rent. the facing dog gamed online all time&bet death to challenge me. so call to the high rank in QRRS, about my Internet need&invited him to celebrate my new marriage. he let me dwell more with my girl to know each other better. missing my girl zhou in rush time of noon break. read newspaper to kill time while waiting the director to settle my corporate lan access, among the facing dog's heavy dirts. returned to dorms around 3pm, listening radio. dinned earlier to wait my girl zhou. she walked with her colleagues while i trying to follow her. first time closer to watch her, whose eyes clear&legs long&fit. later she went alone&look back to me, so i tried again to follow her, but she took a man's bike left. when i closely follow her, i felt so rich to own her. God, u never misleading me, i straightly ask u for my girl zhou i persued so long, i directly ask u leading me into my new life with my girl zhou, in the most romantic house in the world we will nest&make love that's saint&breathtaking. God, i m a determined mind, and never losing or dwelling in burning of shame any time any place, for my glory of Royal of China, exactly ur glory on the earth.

6/1/2010

a hopeful day.^last night met my girl zhou in QRRS rush time, follow her till cross road, peaceful&hopeful. then returned to office to contact Taiwan friend to upload source files to my family domains, ie. baby's warozhu.com and mine be21zh.org. dealt routine stuff. Its snowing all night, so auspicous. sms girl Feng in Guangdong. tried wap access my favorite portals on my new cellphone, went to bed after 10pm. went to office at once getting up. sorted os in office. met my girl zhou under my office where i talking with the department cadre for my missing coupon, tried but can't see clear my girl's face. customized baby&my 163 account with my cellphone authentication. refined forums of family domains. handed in fee for baby's kindergarten. finished updated family 2 domains' hosting via Taiwan friend.

5/1/2010

busy with fix my win7 on acer notebook.^last night met my girl zhou just under my office. the dog in the front office stared me when i waiting, so i shift to another place. my girl tentatively stopped by a icecream vendor aside the road, i picked up&first time closely watched her eyes. its almost our first direct eyes' contact. after she left, baby's mom, emakingir arrived to bring me my medcines. i had visited the hospital but it moved to a new place. so i adopted ema's suggestion several times to make use of medcines at her home. i bought it again from ema, costs me 200rmb as admitted. in dorm contacted my facebook girl who now in her hometown Guangdong, after sms her twice without response. emotional upon re-gaining her message. the dorm's porter, an old woman with her old husband washed in the toilet, the male beast even washed nakedly there when i heard the noise&went to wash clothes. dirts around in QRRS deserves a kill, which descends since last night&shallowly covered the ground this morning. i returned to baby's mom's house first time since my step into my new life, and busy with building bootable udisk, then restored os from backup. migrating data cost me about 3 hours, after last night i found all my works previously done, esp. data syn, all lost. baby was fetched to skate on ice with his first new skateshoes by his mom, who had a half day vacation. returned to office lately after 4pm.

4/1/2010

pc crashed when i copy to udisk. tried all kind of bootable disk but failed. got insult from a doggie gay in neighbor room for my borrow his notebook awhile to fix remission problem with my Taiwan friends who just got me my baby's domain, warozhu.com. killing snow since then.

3/1/2010

bought my first cellphone, &under clothing&showered near baby's mom's home.^last night restlessly, longing sex with my girl zhou. got up lately&heading to office immediately. retouched family sites while the 2 once colleagues staying in office. tried to upload to my domain registaar but failed again. then gathered with baby&his mom in supermarket, bought baby foods he likes, ate in KFC. then i finally first time buying my own cellphone. also bought under clothes&got showered&haircut. tried to remit Taiwan friend who help me getting baby's domain but out of service. Its so nice a day.

2/1/2010

finished logo design for warozhu.com, baby son's first domain.^last night busy with logo design till 10pm. this morning woke up by tractor's engine again. finally retouched the logo, with Chinese slogan. the haunted computer market to buy 8gb udisk, to prepare migrating acer notebook to my usage, while hasee notebook left to baby as he wanted. migrated data between notebook in office from 2pm-8pm. also prepared warren's site, but China surveillance blocked file upload all time. buzzed baby's mom&know the bonus from QRRS likely 7000rmb or so. bought another wine. some porn photos reminds me my girl zhou painfully.

1/1/2010

sound sleep. woke up in vital engine sound of a tractor outside.^last night thought awhile on bed, talking to baby son in heart. woke up around 8am. a porting tractor's healthy engine's pulse accompany reviewing some time on bed. preparing baby's site since then, based on my site of be21zh.org, design warozhu's logo. then join baby son&his mom at Golden Hans buffet, where i tried to fix acer notebook but all bootalbe udisk failed. great time with baby, let him know his domain. roamed after returned dorm, present 10rmb to a chair-bound man. review the problem with os on acer notebook. design baby's site's logo all time, finished it at 10pm.

31/12/2009

buy baby son his domain, warozhu.com, with help from Taiwan friend.^dreamed of a sportman in family name zhu. his sport is double swords. after his performance, i picked his swords he shot&returned to him. the dorm's door keeper, an old fat woman, behaved evil: last night she with an other woman washed clothes lately from 8pm-9pm, and this morning again did&made noise around 5am in the nearby lavatory of the dorm. such a dirt! busy contacting Taiwan friend to register baby son his first domain, warozhu.com, the second domain of our family. finished the deal till near 2pm. my girl zhou didn't appear in rush time. got several bonus from QRRS, my once&long time employer. busy with setup baby's new domain, as well as google apps in the domain near 5pm. met my girl on the way as usual, but really a surprise for her absence at noon rush time, when i doubting if she don't join office today. she peeked at me but lowered her sight when i contact her eyes&felt assertive. as a punishment she shorten the way with which i can follow or company her, but directly walked to the other way, separat me with a main&busy road of the city's entrance. hard to compel the high mood, but i managed to buzz baby&his mom till 7pm as usual, told them the bonus, gift for baby(but keep it a secret till tomorrow's gathering), got timetable of our dining out in Golden Hans buffet where we haunted last month&greatly enjoyed. roamed outside. tried to contact a homeless old man sheltered in a harmful corner near a electric station outside of the dorm area, but can't find him outside of his locked fence. its my second time trying to help him with some money but failed. the full moon tonight from my ancestor has the best wish upon me&my Royal in new year of 2010. prepared baby's site after settled in dorm.

30/12/2009

dreamed of Nankai alumni.^last night slept in peace&sound. dreamed played soccor in Nankai Univ with schoolmates, like Sunbo, wangbin, wenxiong, etc. later all about books&magic. care my girl zhou. live long to see through. post recent tweets in an b og entry to my blogs, including domestic blogs. finally touched my forums, including one at http://zh.be21zh.org, ie. correct google analystics&friends connect codes correspondingly. greet my girl zhou, who this time alone when leaving QRRS, while talking with 2 male QRRSers when route to QRRS. the monitor in office chat with me about my marrital statues&try to persuade me to retired now&return to my hometown. God sees how rubbish a man can be. read ebook on cyberwar. peaceful light in my life now&to come. girl zhou, hold me right now, right this auspicious moment God grants. roamed in dorm thinking family domain. met my girl zhou first time face to face, even obscure in street light, in peace. the corridor of dorm lights all 3 bulbs to welcome me&i do felt blessed. review my love in my girl zhou, then continued planning baby son's domain, all time in music.


29/12
dreamed a lot.^last night thought some time on bed before fell into sleep. dreamed of family, hometown folks, colleagues, alumni. also dreamed of many places. dreamed in my palace with a servant eat cookies for VIPs. got up urined then dozed till after 9am. in office dealt my GAE, with the forum's author's new direction, finished most apps&new forums' setup. my girl zhou first time holding a man's arms to urge me act. felt cold upon the changes. roamed around the front area of QRRS, first don't want to meet my girl, then God let me don't lose passion, so try to follow her, but don't find her in the rush float of QRRS staff. reviewed my situation in dorm, tried to contact the high rank in QRRS, a Zhou, twice for invoice the love between my girl&me, but can't connect neither his office nor home phone. God, help my girl zhou killing dirts around her, killing dogs blocking between us, not matter cops or mafia. Royal of China, in my title, forever sane, saint&untouchable beautiful. my new life with my girl zhou should descends in the beginning of 2010. God, reinforce me with love&do right immediate, blow away hatred&dark the evil try their best to horse me down.

28/12
my girl zhou turns playful.^dreamed of easy sex among my senior middle school alumni. fight for pure love&its sex. dreamed in dawn some ants eating bees, breaking their shells. dozed again after washed head. in office restored os. read awhile ebook on axis of evil: communism left in the world, among biting from facing dog. its a bright morning. greet my girl in rush time, she first time shown her proactive guesture after passed over my office. roamed some time to avoid dirty dog on facing desk. read awhile before return to dorm. immersed in an ebook on cyber war in dorm, till tired&dozed. felt lucky again upon my coming family with my girl zhou. waited her after dinner&follow her till cross road. praying God i can live with her sooner, i really love her, her figure this time i closely perceived. review my love for girl zhou after returned dorm&pray God let me in Heaven with a new family with my girl zhou sooner. buzzed baby's mother about dining out agenda, then roamed outside. met cop on the way. the evil plots detaining me in asylum or prison. bought 2 eggs&ate.

27/12
dreamed of sex with my girl zhou.^last night enjoyed music a lot. in dawn dreamed in my palace sex with my girl zhou, my other wives, one is likely Masheng, my second wife from Japan, and my baby son, also present. then dreamed a guy in the contest of driving electronic game, but his game controller bad, so i lent him my mouse or cellphone to control. bought socks&inner pants. continued to fix down forum of be21zh.org, failed again. try to contact the app's author. after lunch debug the app again in dorm till it works. returned to office to update the app online but it strangely don't work online. the facing dog soon visit office&stayed there all time when i busy debugging. at first the gay biting heavily, after i dealt with email from the author of the app, biting turns down. the dinner tasteless. in dorm gloomy attacted me. felt lonely. listen music in night. do personal care.

26/12
got up after 9am. dozed again till seeing bright sunshine outside. roamed some time outside. listen music&reveiw my love after lunch, dozed again for boring. doubting if QRRS reschedules so visit office. found office empty while neighbor depart all on duty. launched to fix my forum at http://forum.be21zh.org, where a wrongly created forum let homepage broken. posted daily tweet, failed fix the app&gave up till after 5pm. continued fix it in dorm by setup GAE&succeeded. reviewed my love in music. the half full moon clearly&serenely glows in mid sky.

25/12
the 5th snow, a heavy snow.^last night slept later in high mood. a bit restless on bed&fell into sleep lately. this morning woke up after 9:30am. dreamed of my wedding ceremony, but i seemingly not happy like should be, also don't familiar with my wife&peek her privately. dreamed Chinese force squad, ie. army&police, practised (cyberspace) dealing hajack in a large office tower, likely CCTV, herds of police equipped with pistols or guns, but just wait&track the man kidnapped a someone, in the countless rooms&corridors&stairs. its likely also an electronic war, for in the dream i strongly dispised the vomitting defensive attitude on Internet China sinful authority nowadays adopted. in office published recent photos with a blog entry expressing. greet my girl zhou, who walked alone under my office to assure me our saint private connection exists anytime&everytime, against in yesterday's rush time evil arranged trifle persons' attempting to mess up. busy with refined my forum, one of my google app engines, at http://forum.be21zh.org, in the afternoon, fine tuned page's template, correct google friend connect due to url remapping. the department gathered for lunch out, let me alone in office. the facing dog second day in serial lingered in office&darting poisons even in his vacation. it snows all day&covered ground thick. roamed outside the dorms area after 7pm, picked the crowd in the local church, where hosting a singing&dancing party for Jesus, almost wept with a song when review my love&missing for God&my girls, esp. girl zhou, who is praying for our fruit of love so sincerely. reviewed my love for baby son, God of Universe, and my girl zhou, my heart harden with blesses that our deep harmony in our coming marriage seeds more.

24/12
dreamed of George H. W. Bush.^last night dreamed with bless in songs. dreamed my elder brother. killing a tortoise by cutting its head twice with blade釬 when it stick out. look into the possible evil in elder brother's. dreamed in dawn accompanying George H. W. Bush in his election team. bush is a kind&easy man with lots of original ideas, while his wife manages lots of things. later seemingly i was in my own election team. got up lately near 9am. felt glad so many lucky things in my life ahead&can't help count days in exciting, like Spring festival in eyes of a child. read in office in the morning, saluted my girl in bright sunshine. busy with refining family 163 blogs, built groups within each family member's account, ie. IIDChina, faezrland, emagarten, warranzh. sorted stuff got from web&portable. got a bonus of ¥200 for the New Year's Day from QRRS. treat baby son&his mom with fried lamb leg as scheduled, such a great moment with baby son, never words can express the elation. snows killing since i ruturned to the dorm. i felt so contented, Dad, God. i finally got my white wine after waited for so many days. God blessed the world of good, as all sees, esp. those homeless and live poor, live them with hope&surprise, as i can do it myself.

23/12
dreamed of love. life in our own rhythm in central China on agenda.^last night went to bed on time for too eager for Thursday when i will treat baby son&his mom in nearby restaurant with fried lamb leg. in dawn dreamed of circus, my elder sister&2 kid brother(i had only one kid brother in fact. in dream the kid brother help to perform is a tall young man, likely the actor in recent Korea TV series in CCTV1) help. i urged to treat animals with kindness forever. its atmosphere is happy and love, seemingly my marriage is to forged&relatives all looking forward it. then dreamed in drama, ema's relative, a tall female, appears in it. its really a loving&touching night, for in dreams all emotion floats loves&best wishes. got up earlier, before 7:30am, too exciting these days for my new life ahead.
in office read feeds. then claimed family namespace with free first level domain in .tk. sorted bookmarks&portable. met my girl once, but for busy with the domain felt at a loss more or less when saluting my girl after passions last night. after dinner met my girl again near the front door of QRRS. trifle persons still puffing sands amid us, but i see clear my girl with me like a bud, a slim&tall bud with dews from Heaven on it, leaving me in our vested valley alone pursue her wind, color, dance, and perfume. God, i forever cherish my girl zhou's lean soul&cordiality in the life we bound since love dents our hearts. dogs in the dorm i now linger brought thick dirts, and foully smessy, but God see my girls' intact, in my title. arranged tomorrow's treat with baby&his mom. roamed again around, God let me arrange my new life after married my girl zhou, i definitely longing the strong sunshine in my hometown. and i missing my kid brother, who still fighting a rootless living in southern China with his family, very much. i would buy he&his family a new house in the county, Wuxue, or help he settle down in the city with a business, according his long time wish. i would like buy a new house in the small county city with my own family, too, enjoy the sunshine and clear seaons with plenty rains&thunderstorms. i also need refurnish house of my passed dad, God, Founder of new Empire of China, in the blessed mountain village, Zhudajiu.

22/12
dreams. joyful moment with my girl zhou.^last night went to bed earlier, just around 9pm. dreamed with some aged researching sand&underground water. dreamed on Lushang廬山, Jianxi Prov., China, likely with my spouse, on a bridge. research its missing lakes, villa of Jiangjieshi蔣介石 there, etc. those days also doubting where is my girl Lü, whose neaty&independent enchanted me a lot when she came over to emakingir's house for tutorial, and fight with ema for her hope to marry me&succeeded. she is my first wife that arrives later. her brewing of loving me for years in loneliness while so young wins respects from all my wives. posting tweet in office, refined geotagged photos. read within greader since then. my girl zhou again affirmed our love&her being blessed. gays in the office building, esp. the fake ganster who in fact a thin lamb or lame duck in neighbor room tried to dirt. snowing likely gathering to kill tonight. after dinner roamed&ran into rush time of QRRS, but don't see my girl in the crowd. the early serene moon and white snowflakes falling all around really too beautiful. especially felt auspicious tonight, which snowing. Masheng, closer to me&let's enjoy family life earlier, let it starts with my new life in the beginning of 2010, if u r ready. promised me never leave me alone in ur soul nor physically. i love u&thankful, God sees. i wouldn't let u alone care our first son, my second son, nor with our other 2 sons when we both in mid age&thanksful&perceptive, years only adds wise&lean soul, no change in ur forever young beauty. just coming into my reach. and BTW, how is u now with baby son, warrenzh, Hope of China, God of Universe? this night we stay together, and should so forever.
all night listening music, and retrospect my love.

21/12
dreamed of hometown.^last night the corridor's lamps all can't light up. strange persons&sounds in the dark floor. in dawn dreamed returning to hometown, where hosts celebrating banquet for me. dreamed of shitting. posted recent photos&refined my google maps, posted recent lengthy tweets to blogs. seeing my girl zhou's encourages for me in rush time, really inspiring! read feed&tried some tips in it. baby's mom buzzed in at noon, i persuade her not to come over to hand in momey for my life settled well&she accepted. reviewed my love history&deeply touched by the being blessed. God, sees me&my prayer.

20/12
dreamed of baby son.^late sleep. dreamed of freaky hooligans, who kidnapped travelers in Shangdong by pretending railway station staff. the victims in heavy rains forced to believe in the freaks. baby son in later dream&signed me to notice spies outside of the door. for sunshine really bright so haunted around&shot some photo for QRRS' stylish buildings, sorted them after returned dorm. dozed after lunch, dreamed of almost sex with baby's mother, but stopped by spying eyes. then dreamed of God, my dad, asked him to save my girl, girl zhou or ema. all night staying room reveiwing my situation.

19/12
sound sleep.^last night first time changed my dose&it worked well. i got up till 10:30am. dozed again after lunch, dreamed of gain large fortune&met my sister in hometown. dreamed chosen to act as referee in sports game&trained in contest. all afternoon in dozed. roamed around the dorm area after dinner&felt misery in chill of wind. stay in dorm all night, nor buzz baby to avoid freaky surveillance.

18/12
Dad's memory day.^Today is the day dad pasted me for 3 years. last night i check my site for him. dreamed preparing English exam. in dawn dreamed help my once dempartment before it broke into now 2 parts designing its magzine. dreamed sorting porn video disks. last night slept soon$sound. since last night i had comsumed all of one kind of pills, only left another pills for my dose. its a brilliant morning. in office clear recent feeds of google services update&IT news. tried lots of chrome extensions. sorted portable suite with updates esp. those extensions. my girl missing in rush time. the department director told me aid from QRRS amounts to ¥500&coming later. haunted community free cafe again. the only pc installed deepfreeze software left to me, strangely unlike other pcs in China nowadays Internet cafe, don't auto restore on power on. heavily been hacked, ie. remotely controlled. check my google maps&other family sites. buzzed baby's mom&refused her suggestion to take over my old medcines there. let baby son known his grandpa's anniversary&he nodded it. reviewed for 2 hours after return dorm the evil China surveillance&dogs cast on me&shocked. killing all the old dirty stuff on this freaky land is badly needed for a new China.

17/12
dreamed of infant baby son.^last night It started to snow to kill dirts. tried again posting daily tweet in unsafe cafe, by posting to my forum at http://forum.be21zh.org ,where allows posting anonymously&denying delete. met the canteen's owner&talked about my blessed fate&my new wife. a male dog there heavily profaned. slept later for preparing feeds reader for mobile environment. dogs' biting let me restlessly awhile. dreamed hometown gathering, where a once neighbor wife chatted with me. got up&dozed again. dreamed in dawn baby son when he is infant. heartbroken love for him for he is so little&young. regret since last night for i talked to his mom 2 days but didn't call him. regret turns strong&buzzed ema&baby when they visit clinic to fix baby's pested teech but unable to talk for noise there. the monitor told me the facing guy these days in his vacation. so i can adopt the lan wire he previously occupied. all afternoon then stay online to prepare mobile working space, ie. portable chrome with my bookmarks, my subscription reader, backup them to web drive&online office. also posted delayed tweets&calendar events. surfed in community free cafe after buzzed baby son. dogs in China surveillance hacked me face by face, using batch to xcopy my portable suite after i plug my udisk, deleted my browser's personal settings seconds after i unpacked it to hard disk from my udisk, all this likely just shown their spying tools' power, for the long history of tracking my web traffic got them most of my confidentials, with which I also do my best to set them open&universal accessible. google China also shown my web id listed in filtered contents. when i left, snow killing as it did last night.

16/12
updated my status in turbulence. dreamed join American army in US.^China surveillance upon me turns freaky. the office dogs seated just after i arrived. i at once tried to use the monitor's corporate lan to update my twitter, but soon broke twice for the leaving and returning monitor, who later made lots of complains that after my unplug his lan wire, he can't reconnect to the web after rejoin the lan. God sees how the demon tentatively made the unusual problem happen on his pc (it never happen on my notebook). busy with finishing scheduled task, including creating a new flick group for my namespace, IIDChina, so missed saluting to my girl Zhou in QRRS rush time, but caught her in the rush time of beginning of afternoon. she walked alone the other lane, showing reservation on me. God, i never want conflicts in my rest marriages. i deserves peace and deep harmony between my partners and me from now on, for ur glory uncomparable on the earth.
dined early to prepare to salute my girl zhou, but dogs plotting to trap me in sexual infamous. so sheered back to dorm. haunted awhile the community free cafe. baby's mother, emakingir, asked me to help refined her course demo's video.
dreamed joined American army with a brother or pal. on the train or queue toward frontline. and life after retired, with my family, likely including my wife and son in US.
refined portable suite. the department director invited to talk, urging me now first receive my old family's aid before the applied aid from QRRS arrive. reveals as i talk my girl appears in QRRS rush time&my treating the high rank of QRRS, a Zhou, whom i asked to borrow ¥3000 the day i rejoin QRRS' dorm, as my father-in-law. reveals i was basically a Christian. idle all time in office. ema later told me in phone she got her edited video. review my being blessed in dorm alone.

15/12
post recent blog. first time met my girl zhou on the ground.^Its a brilliant day. post blog wrote yesterday in office in a breeze, with all photos from our treat in KFC Tiedong franchise. in dorm review my love with girl Masheng, zhou, the Taiwan girl. dined near QRRS' over time then roamed alone its main road, met girl Zhou just under my office, follow her and her pals till she departed all&enter the lane she likely residents. praying God not a too embarrassing nor zigzag course before we got wired under a same roof. God, i totally under her charm, and got me her arms around me the sooner the better. watched Yangge collective dance after dinner on the square of QRRS, its beauty grasped me at once. female's tendering touch me in any vein or visional method when i was stopped. woke up early, about 5am, dreamed in a camp with a mother, likely girl Zhou, with her daughter. i was with my baby son. we tried to correct our babies.

14/12
reveiw my pastime with Masheng in music of Daolang.^most day idle. trying to use the community free cafe but sucked by the stupid&evil door keeper woman. dozed for more than 1 hours after noon as last weekend, then wrote a blog about my ordain. review my love&those pecular moments with Masheng in Nankai Univ when i there persue a master degree, with touching music by Daolang刀郎, a western China muscian. tried again to use community cafe, but found dogs surveillance me on every presence, and plotted detailedly to defame me in losing. God shown me every device&trap. killing dog is the persistant job for my family&I should never forget it.

13/12
tried to make use of community free Internet cafe to prepare posting photos but failed.^last day busy with preparing a portable suite to work on free Internet hub within QRRS dorms, where all pc heavily infected with malware&spyware. tried it after dinner, almost succeeded but backup data wrongly so most works lost. dreamed war fire and holy message that with endurance&persistence all things&disconfort runs straight. later dreamed caring baby son, urging him to put on shoes to leave, but he playful till his mom arriving. we watched an aged practising calligraphy, which likes dao道 (means way in English) but with differences.

12/12
posted a blog with photo for 4th snow&Masheng's descending last afternoon.^shot snow scene on way to office. Its likely the thickest snow of 2009. posted these photos with a blog entry to my blogs. ema came over to settle bank stuff, ie. destroy my old salary account, deposit for baby monthly. for clerk said now an account with 2 withdraw methods (a card&a book) not supported, i gave up holding the credit card&left it baby's mother. such a maverallous time in KFC franchise. lots of shots. first time i bought family suite of fried chiecken. check posting in night in dorms open cafe. this morning dreamed of fans of popstar, like Korean or Chinese, like Guohan郭韓. we with their agency in a room underground. also fight with some kids likely including the baby girl in KFC franchise yesterday. preparing portable suite now for mobile working space. dozed first time on bed after noon, dreamed a kid girl accompany me for a long time in tunnel. my second baby would be a daughter with girl Zhou. my 3rd son is one of the fruits with the Taiwan girl, in my 4th marriage which forged for us by my dad himself.


From New Year on new horizon
From New Year on new horizon
From New Year on new horizon
From New Year on new horizon


for picasaweb blocked in China mainland, here parts of the photos hosted domestic.

benzrad, me, with baby son, warren zhu, in Qiqihar Golden Hans buffet.

baby son, warrenzh, whose domain at http://warozhu.com , dining in KFC Fu-mart franchise. 

baby son, warrenzh, on skating ice ground with his first new skateshoes.

road toward glorious reunite

posted Sep 17, 2009, 3:28 PM by Benz rad   [ updated Sep 17, 2009, 12:39 AM ]

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey

benzrad, me, in hometown journey, on front yard of his passed dad's house.

family baptized in Lun river after reunited

family entertained in a nearby river soon after reunited.

baby bathed in warm Autumn dusk

baby bathed in warm Autumn dusk.

baby son bathed in warm Autumn dusk from be21zh on Vimeo.

OR if vimeo inaccessible under censorship visit it hosted on Flickr:

From life as it extends

3 days before the day i left my hometown, village Zhudajiu, where i lingered for 3 months,and lives here my baby's mother's home for 3 months. life quite regular between my office and baby's mother,emakingir's house. i routinely stay in office for 5 hours, from 8:30am to 2:30 pm. in office i rip off Internet access and had to find other things to kill time. first i used roommate's Internet access when he absent, but the demon with a born spying eye trying to bargain with me payment for the usage, so i now totally stay in office offline. mostly i can immersed in reading ebook, esp. biographies of scientists, or sorting my hard disk, enjoy the plenty of warez and ebooks got from web.anyone really love the web can't praise the boundlessness of evaluable resources, most of them can gain by download. that lesson exactly the American people, who enjoy booming of information explosion since the descending of Internet, teaches me, and leads me to deep faith in God's saint and meaningful.i learn God from US people and their well beings.


since the first day i rejoin the office life, i remind myself being idle in office can be a beneficial experience for my mission, for the road of God over China needs time to clear unclear and bias. and according to most Chinese living standard i shouldn't rely on the speediness and expedience of Internet on finger tip. and my threat to the China authority nowadays can't be hidden by the peace so far i enjoyed. so i decided to enjoy leisure of mind as well as bodily in office where most staff wasting the resourceful Internet, doing board games, reading novels, watching movies, or even fed up by turning away, all this kind of simpler and boring activities. i know a far larger and firmer world beyond the constrain i was set in this eccentric city of northeastern China i grew 19 years just to overcome it to see through all China territory and beyond the Pacific ocean. i know God let me stand firmly on my own feet, after pains and endurance of empty brain and tastelessness.


Its a sunny day, even sometimes flow over some clouds.last night it drizzled, after the bright sunset of yesterday. I felt surely i was baptized when i got up earlier and launched to setup auto posting on some sites of mine, after one of my account reported compromised.China surveillance capture my web traffic with a spying eye on my web confidential not for moments, but for years without break.i trust my words to God, just likes my mission here in the barren and scurry land since the fell of Ming Dynasty, whose Emperor bred me and my Royal of China again in progress.


this moment i saw the still green and yellow leaves of trees outside of my office. a even brighter future for China in my view. i belongs to God, my dad, and lives long, manly and energetic as the Son, source of saviour for livings on the earth. China lives, and only lives in God's bless, no other way to save itself. and a more cohesive world lives in love, brotherhood, and most of all, faith in God one.


OK, i bid a lot here about the right path. i praying every moment for my new life with my fiancees, my source of young, passion of life. i praying for gathering with my beloved, Masheng, Zhou, Taiwan girl, Lü, Jiangyue. i pray for my wedding with my girls, and my first house of my own, with my bride or brides. i deserved a new life now, with my tenderest.

meaningful life under burden

posted Aug 14, 2009, 12:26 AM by Benz rad   [ updated Aug 14, 2009, 12:39 AM ]

nearly a month passed since my return. i had great time with my baby son, warren zhu, hope of China and God of universe. my office Internet connection was rid off and i had to stay idle when i was there. at home, the Internet within China mainland also fatally deteriorated, ip and keyword filtering failed most web proxies available in search result. life in China mainland just like in a riot, all things in temporary and transition. hope is all of Chinese in mainland hold full hearted, and enduring of time is a test between the dictation nowadays and perished common social lives. i definitely see the collapse of the dying China political and social architecture. 

my life orbits again in a tight loop, between office and my baby's mother's home. i tried hard to live with silence in work time in office, and admit it can be a beneficial habit, but i really enjoy cyberspace activities. common people, like most of my colleagues, can be dishonest and blacken eyed by the pressure of authority's favor or dislike. one of them, namely, my monitor in my office, claimed its righteous that i can't use office Internet now that my home pc connected with Internet, while his pc and all other colleagues' computer all wired and reading novel or watching tv online all days is mainly his activities online. they regard they r superior than me, really clueless! 

this week can be fruitful. in reading twitter stream after broke China surveillance, i got an idea from peer's id, that i should own an id IIDChina. first i think idchina is OK, but in the process of claiming i gradually chose IIDChina. i soon claimed it from google, where i can only got an alternative for name space conflict. i tried to expand the name to twitter and facebook, which both deadly blocked within China mainland for months. China surveillance, with its most advanced technology and heaviest investments, now can be fatal to web traffic inland reaching freedom world. i tried lots of proxies, including risky ones, all failed. only with the help of friends abroad, i got my facabook id and twitter's in the title of IIDChina. customization unfinished for access to the sites via proxies severely compromised and lots of operation only led to errs or vain. i also wrote a wiki item on google knol but the next day it was flagged inappropriate and hide from public view. after checked from friends abroad, i assured its google banned it, not google china, which frequent under China authority's harass and had to adopt tighter filtering. now i just doubting if google read it and flagged improper, or China surveillance reported it online frequently via on site report function and led google's system automatic or semi-automatic earmarked on my knol.yesterday i designed it a unique logo when i felt flat in office, i like it very much, so does my baby son, who shares the title. God sees my way toward a better and righ world in the shine and shrine of Holy. 

facebook, twitter, blogger, picasaweb, and yesterday i found yahoo profiles, these sites' been blocked in China mainland heavily troubled Chinese surfers, and again remind them how barren the China landscape of produce of voice or content. China dying in aridity since the fall of Ming Dynasty, and continued suffering sacrifice with the tasteless and tomb berthed dictator then and now. 

Ok, its time for break. i know the coming gathering of my love, while the dark of China to been blow apart, shift and gone. i know my new marriage scheduled and my fiancee already in her wedding dress. yes, i received my God's notice, i received the omen in red.


 

logo of site IIDChina, at http://facebook.com/iidchina ,or http://groups.google.com/group/iidchina .

 

beautiful sunset in Qiqihar, near Autumn.

 

colorful clouds near dusk in Qiqihar,  China. its near Lunar Autumn.

 

dearest baby son, warren zhu, Hope of China, God of universe, ate corn cake in Holyland bread shop.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

PicasaWeb Slideshow


dad's rage

posted Jul 15, 2009, 10:12 PM by Benz rad

From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey
a childhood pal, now hostile to me.
From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey
befriended villagers.
From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey
my childhood pal, once glass ball game champion.
From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey
our mountain, mostly hided by the evil dark house.
From long tail of hard landing ∑ hometown journey
benzrad, me, in a pose, with a fly near my left eye brow.

it all started when i sang in front yard of my past dad, God's old house against threaten of violence. my mother, now turns clear, a life time spy and betrayal of my family, and dark witch chaser, evilly sat in the door facing the evil dark house owner's room just in front of my dad's house. i sang for my girls, but the profaning from my mother and the evil dark house owner turns intensively challenged me. in the last fight, my mother gave up and retreated to house. i sat there in the front yard in solitary. i felt God never let me do anything i dislike, and more important, the pure glory of my Royal forever untouchable. i reviewed my turning stronger missing for my baby, and decided its time to reunite with my baby and his mother. so i at once informed ema and our baby son about my decision in front yard in sunset. ema in doubt as usual, suggesting me later to return. but my girls, in holy message let me know its right to leave the evil land.

in the coming days i more and more see through the dark on my mother, and my past dad's struggle with the nearby enemies of his Empire. i got clearly the evils of the neighbors exerted on my old dad before his past by. my mother never belong to my dad, she lived in her family name, Hu, the same of current China's President. she lives lifetime in dark, in chase of her taste of ugly things and dark witch. she ruined most of my dad's children, let them abnormal, except my elder sister, my past eldest sister in her prime time, my kid brother and me. my kid brother still in missing road toward union with my dad, but this moment he is wrong. my mother don't love me, too. she in fact only love herself. in my life she exerted lots of obstacles just prevent my insight of her evils. she humiliated my family a lot with her foolish and selfish behaviors.

the neighbors' evil also gradually turn clear to me. the most ugly that needs action is the front and behind house owner, one is called Zhu zhongcai,朱中才, the back neighbor, and the dark house owner, a former slave before the new public. they spy my dad, God's life for decades, trying mimic the holy spirit, just in aim to hurt my dad. the dark house owner is also a freak, a rapist, with which my mother more and more turned into his victim. Zhu zhongcai once was a elementary school teacher in the darkest period of China under abnormal mao's influence. he claimed my name has problem and my parents changed my name accordingly. now his grandsons all steal name space from my family. for example, among the villagers, seldom has the mid name like mine, 子(in English,son), but his 2 grandsons all adopt it from mine. even worse, the second grandson steal one of  my dad's name, 明, the second Dynasty of Zhu's. they openly profaned the holy, and risk to see if we kill.

now its kill time. my mother died in lack of blood, or anemia. she shouldn't bury with my dad, God. zhu zhongcai's family, including all his family, and the family of his 2 brothers, die soon in their burning house. the dark house owner, the evil still spying, dies in the ruin of his house and by hits of flocks of falling stones, both in desert, let dog and flies and mouse to lick. his offspring all died in the same way. their house all vanished and our mountains of my dad stand again in front of us.

the another back neighbor, the elder son of my past uncle and his evil family, esp. his fat and abnormal wife in family name zheng, die now. his fat wife died in water prison, die of cold and dark. himself and his sons and his larger family alive, die of infection of mad dog, or rabies. some die of rotten blood, or sepsis.

its my order of kill. i m leaving the land evil prevails, and abnormal or distort rampant. the land will be clear and clean after wiping ordered here, and my dad's glory manifests clearer in the sky and in the air, on his land.

a harvest week.

posted Jun 15, 2009, 6:42 AM by Benz rad


avatar of my nephew, designed by me.
my work of designing nephew an avatar or logo, at http://626895145.qzone.qq.com 


DSCF3328.JPG
my breakfast in mid of my morning work. mother cooked for me these days.

this week really busy. it started with a landrush for facebook's vanity url claiming. i got up unusually around 5 am and waited for the moment the site allow my claiming my frequent web id. when all ready, i finished it within several minutes, with several kind of browsers open and several family facebook accounts logged on.to some disappointing, i got known that some family facebook accounts i recent built, not allowed to register their favorable name in its url, and later via search i got known on 28th of this month, i will get it. in the night in daily discuss with baby and his mom in Qiqihar, northeastern China, i told them the great news of their vanity urls, but they didn't applaud as i expect. baby still don't want talk to me and banned his mom doing so.

then the next day launched to retouch family twitter background image to include new facebook profile url. that merely cost me a day to design and update twitter sites with the outcome. coming next is to add facebook connect, now with more family facebook profiles, to family genwi newspapers, to improve its universal log in and richer publication sources. i did the same later to family retaggr accounts. in the afternoon. the nephew who just came over his national college entrance exam, visited me, i picked his once ask for a avatar like mine, with powerful warez i collected from web, i demonstrated him and finished the work after near 3 hours. in the night, i suddenly felt the decision to add Chinese domestic mailbox into alternative secure mailbox among my google accounts was wrong, for China surveillance anytime can break into any account with domestic ISPs, obtain all credentials u registered, ruin ur account at will, so its wiser to cut off all my google and yahoo accounts' sharing detain with Chinese ISPs. that cost me more than a day, and this morning, when i sorted my bookmarks locally, i felt time to make clear family googlepages sites ripes. so i launched to check every family google account to make full use of them to claiming more googlepages. google decided migrating googlepages to its sites product, and stop all googlepages' registry. but account already open a googlepages can continue create no more than 3 sites in one gmail account.  its really a joy to enrich my domains with these new sites.

ok, its my recent works, its turning sultry these days after enough rain and clouds. i really appreciate the weather since my arrival in my hometown journey. i rightly look forward re-experience the heat and moist here in central China where i was bred, i look forward more direct contacts with the stinging sunshine, my best gift and one of most powerful tool of Masheng, my Japanese fiancee.

these days in a turbulence of site building, i seldom talk with Masheng, nor girl lÜ in her 2 days' rains. i also don't sing after dinner as usual. the neighbor wives upset me. and hostile neighbors got me low.

ok, its time to bye.i hope its not a long time before i kiss my baby son again. i hope we can enjoy more and more in the coming years.


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my first time to reply open

posted Jun 8, 2009, 10:21 PM by Benz rad

From Family&folks ∑ hometown journey
My elemental school teacher, a villager, now a boss of concrete products.

From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey
front door view of my past dad's house.

below is a reply i wrote on Jun 5, 2009,  in answer of an inquiry from a site, ThisIsDiversity, about my some opinion on China surveillance. i glad to see emerging chance to be opener.

 

Doug Cress suggested that I contact you. My name is Julia Garrison and I am ThisIsDiversity’s Special Features Reporter.  I would love to learn more about your situation as a journalist in China: the topic of internet censorship is one that I find extremely problematic. It would be great to get your story on this  highly debated issue so that I could write an article informing people around the world about what is happening in your country.

 

What kind of restrictions are placed on Journalists in China?

i m not a journalist, i worked once for a state-owned enterprise and work in its cable tv branch, designing heading and caption. i never got any promotion even i think my work was marvellous. gradually i got clear the invisible constrain cast on me. after a dispute with the director of the department, i got kicked from my professional position, instead i was assigned a job in the title of "temporary worker", one reason why i was not laid off was in China enterprises not encouraged to do so, but i think deeper review is that the state intelligent want to keep me in cage to observe. now i work full time on cyberspace, with my first domain, be21zh.org at http://www.be21zh.org , i got 3 years ago.
China has now 3 main portals in its Internet service. 2 built by returned Chinese graduate or post-graduate from American universities, ie. sina.com and sohu.com , in my view they offer nothing but exotic/vulgar news. another is built in Guangzhou, southern China, by a Chinese graduated within China. all of them in my view quite flat. they never die, unlike yahoo or those startups in US. they services, like email, blog, album, alumni, none deserve a compare with that of American isp, but never one can imagine their quit. for in China, most important is u granted to live by the authority, but not u r better survived.

there is no news in my view in China, for almost all medias belong to the state, and through state-owned enterprise and affiliate office to the government departments, most Chinese don't have the freedom of finding a alternative job in free job market, which only belong to peasants work temporarily in City to build or maintain the less bright part of the life of city(even in this market peasants were yet fined). anyone in mainland China lives in fear and insecure for their life and living decided by the higher cadre and finally the state, which in fact a dictator with a police mind set. in fact, in most common people's view, the journalist in China never enjoy the respect they should or does in freedom world, for most people know their job is a kind of brag of officer among Chinese social ladder. they work in boring and planned, and earn some additional money, like quite some positions in China society which breeds bribery rampant,  from paid news, nothing creative or independent, nor respectable/responsive.

In your experience, how does the average Chinese citizen react to the restrictions placed on Journalists?

most Chinese just endured and waiting for a hitchhike toward a better politically architectured new China. they learned from generations that the leader and first out-standing risk most, they kept themselves distant from the bureaucrat which can profane and absorb any gifted mind, charging their life for thousand years in China history, with envy and hatred. and quite some part of the mob in Chinese society was bought by the ruling squad and live in abnormal psychological set and darkened belief. that likely why in China recent history they chose violence rather than God. they immersed themselves in the virtual potent from group or blood links, to evade the natural call of mercy upon unfair and bully and indifferent pervading in nowadays China mainland. in some gauge Chinese in mainland don't have average, the government these years spent a lot to buy services in rural area, in student group, in youth, with state resource to divide the previous wild hatred class. in some ways Chinese people in mainland now quite and only recognize the green paper, the money, that can improve their life a bit and only a bit, for any further plan unstable, just like the upper building and the doctrine, both based on disappearing smoke-alike clouds of lies.
 

What are the consequences of Journalists who speak out?

the government tighten the spread of news of its victims. quite some cases well-known were journalists in southern China media reporting death as result in government's failure got fired or separate in glass house of alien. there is no bone nor backbone at all in China journalists or journalism. punishment never disclosed. the afford from the victims and all invisible constrains cast on them, never can spread out to social commonsense nor turn clear. that's rightly the effect of terror the dictator want to exert.
 

Do you know of any journalists that have been censored by the Chinese Government?

first, there is very rare in Chinese licensed journalists who still had the self-responsibility for the right, for the independence. second, if there is standout, u don't know, for that forever their last struggle before their free fall into noname.

 

What kinds of bans or restrictions have been placed on internet use and what, if any, reasons does the government give for these restrictions?

every computer in Internet cafes within China mainland with their own watch dog, every web accessed  equipments registered and under the surveillance, with their only id. if there is something clear in the dictating country like China mainland, that's the only one: everyone, men or thing, has its individual secret log, maintained and focused by the dog dominated country, with its ruling hand.

 

How do you get around the restrictions? Do you think China will change its policies?

years ago i tried proxy and sometimes work. but these days the technology adopted by China Internet cop more and more stronger and failed more and more proxies. the machine dog team boast its tech to apply for its bonus bone from the dog-minded dictator, so it wouldn't loose its reign, never, before their total collapse.
 

What is your goal for China regarding free speech?

i live in God's shine, and never worry the future of China in my best wish. God saves and only he has the final word. i live with peace in the view of the end of the dirty state power theft. they can be also included in God's set for China's march toward ONE World within he glads. 

How does your faith in God relate to this goal?

i in depth belief of God, Christian God, i was educated from distress of love with a beautiful tall Chinese collegian. i was educated by spiritual ebook written by American. i know now i was chosen to follow my fate, to resume his glory, to resume my ancestor's glory, on this old land. i can be meaningless like a wind or breeze, i can be weighted as the highest monument people and people to arrive had to raise their heads to watch. i don't assert my deed in the world, but i assert i forever in shine.
 

How do the restrictions on journalists and internet censorship relate to the Tiananmen Square massacre that occurred on June 4, 1989?

 u can google, which also under surveillance in China and bring less result page than u can. a google group at https://groups.google.com/group/fans i can mention, even quite trifle, but u can read complains and curses upon the surveillance and 6.4 special blockage, if u can read Chinese. even in the group, there is i guess spy from the state intelligent.
 
BTW, i want post this email to my blog, at http://benzillar.blogspot.com .i can delay posting after u make usage of it. i wait for ur response and do it before next Monday, in ur curtsy.

best wishes,
benzrad

 
benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org

busy week with more sites' claiming.

posted May 31, 2009, 8:58 PM by Benz rad   [ updated May 31, 2009, 9:03 PM ]


stream in front cannel of the village.
 
From Still lifes (3) ∑ hometown journey
duck family in front cannel stream of the village.
its has been near a week since my last post. in these week i customized my windows boot screen and logon interface, and tried to update baby's desktop in Qiqihar. i also fine tuned my family facebook accounts, adding openid service, fit logos of my groups and pages there. also i claimed new sites from google sites, ie. sites for my girl zhou, like http://sites.google.com/site/gozhous/ ,http://sites.google.com/site/godzhous/ ,for my baby's mother, ema, like http://sites.google.com/site/emagarton and http://sites.google.com/site/emagartom , i also fine tuned my family accounts at plaxo, adding logon with facebook connect, claimed family accounts at yahoo profiles, which substitutes old yahoo blog system yahoo 360. i also created a profile for my cyber enterprise, be21zh.org, in title bebazh, for facebook don't allow number in user name. i customized my family twitter accounts with new background images i designed, after learning from other twitters' background. for diigo refused updating my imported bookmarks for several months, i tried to create a new diigo account to import my local bookmarks again, but after some delay just after imported, it again lost my import and bookmarked nothing. i guess China surveillance likely controlled my all diigo accounts and locked them up. diigo is a Chinese enterprise based in US, while heavily rely its team in western China. anything u trust to Chinese in mainland would be a mistake, for mainland Chinese is mostly a betrayal, they born after cleanse too weak to be good. i direct message and also feedback via page to the company, but never got a reply.

the long drizzle days passed, which likely brought some drain to south China while the northern China suffered drought. i later realized that Masheng letting girl lu on duty. i quite enjoy the rains, even mostly i busy online and seldom talk with it. i love girl lu even i now can't figure out how is like when i live with her aside. the rainning days let me stayed all time at home and engaged till exhaust. now its a bright morning, its 2 or 3 days after the same weather. i enjoy working in the open air on my dad's front yard in bright light and breezes. its temperature really nice, to let u best fit. last dusk i realized that my broadband here was offered by Masheng, and she did company me all these days before i returned hometown. i beg Masheng sooner join me and take care of my life in garden, in her garden.
 
here China surveillance tighten rein with crazy, lots of sites blocked deadly, failed most web proxies. some sites accessible last day, like yahoo profiles, scribd.com, etc, with which i can draw a conclusion with safe that the ban list on China Internet gateway tailored for me, and the China Internet cop monitor my web activities and steal my web form submissions real time. 

ok, its a bit wasteful to utter about the evil in China. God's day to cleanse it never changes. i look forward to my ancestor's fond over it can boost it better in coming world conflicts and starve.

here is my sites recently claimed.

on vodspot.tv:
zhuson, united US and China under God's shine

zhudajiu朱大九——龙泉之眼

dajiuzh——朱大九走向世界

songdod, song for God, on and forever

beinzh, burning people in destructive nation

gozhous, God over US and Japan and China

on google sites:
gozhus, shares God's shine between US and China

godzhous, God's love among nation of US, Japan, and China

godzhus, God shines over US and China

emagartendreamthatflies | emagarten

emagartom, sunshine kills

emagarton, dream blossoms

on yahoo profiles:
benzillar | benzradi

be21zh.org | be21zh

zhudajiu | zhudajiu

zhuson | zhuson@ymail

zhusis | zhuson

emakingir | emakingir

emagarten | emagarten

warrenzh | flickr

warrendzh | warrentzh

warranzh | warranzh

warrenzhu | flickr

warrinzhu | warrenzeu


on facebook:

Beba Zh

on diigo bookmarks user:

zhudajiu

PicasaWeb Slideshow


PicasaWeb Slideshow



------------------
 
benzyrnill, set to fly - do it, make it.
mobile:+8615845661821
skype:benzyrnill
yahoo:benzradi
icq:134279664
gtalk:dabbog@gmail.com
QQ: 570503557
dabbog@gmail.com

盲言之芒岩
你在清贫中呆得太久了
你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭
厌倦的兽眼阴雨里低低沉吼

http://be21zh.org
 

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